Turnips On Tour: Part Five

Time for Turnips on Your with Andrew – those Swedes are making quite the impact over in Spain…

Hello again and welcome back to Turnips on Tour where we continue to dream big and aim to make an all-star Swedish cast take its place at the top of European football. Last time out we started our second season by bolstering the squad, and whilst undefeated in the League Real Madrid are becoming a serious pain in the arse as they build a formidable squad around Alfonso. That said we are one trophy to the good with the Super Copa Espanola in the bag; one down five to go. Pep and the B-Boys are into the 3rd round of the Cup Winners Cup, they’re not Swedish, but we’re cheering them on all the way. Here’s a reminder of the table.

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Turnips On Tour: Part Four

Turnips on Tour returns for season two. Last time out we managed to overcome the fact we didn’t have a first 11 to string together and get out the Champions League groups, overcoming Manchester Utd to go on to claim the trophy. It took us down to the final day, but we also manage to scrape home in the League too. It didn’t all start so rosy as we lost the Super Copa Espanola to our deadly rivals Real Madrid and we were knocked out of the Copa Del Ray by mid-table Sporting Mustard.

We’ve still been unable to make all the signings we wanted but we’ve formed a capable squad. Our enemies have also bolstered their ranks with Atletico, Real and Betis home to three of the deadliest strikers the game has to offer. This season will either make or break us. But we are in the hunt for 6 trophies. Technically we could say 8 as Barcelona B will be competing in this season’s Cup Winners Cup and the Segunda Liga.

Three of the competitors we will face on our journey for six trophies have now been confirmed including an intra-Barcelona derby. It could be a shameful experience if we lose to our own reserves.

The season opener arrives as we face up to our reserves in the first leg of the Super Copa at the Miniestadia. They have a solid line-up with Anderson and Rivaldo both starting. We take an instant lead with a trademark blitz from Prytz and then cruise on to a comfortable 3-0 victory. What a relief.

The second leg just gets better. The reserves batter our goal but Asper snuffs out everything they throw at us and we stroll out 4-0 winners taking to Super Copa 7-0 on aggregate. 1 out of 6

We open our La Liga account with two unconvincing 2 goal victories against previous seasons mid to bottom sides Santander and Mallorca, not so Swede. Next up we’re off to 10 goal Deportivo at the Riazor a genuine test. An own goal adds some gloss, Karlsson stepping out of the shadow of Mansson and Svensson to be the first name on the team sheet.

Here’s to hoping we don’t have a clash with the internationals or U21’s.

Meanwhile our Champions League group has been favourable, but Benfica will be a potential turnip in the road we’ll do our best to avoid.

Rayo Vallecano are dispatched three goals to the good. We round up our first 5 La Liga games with a visit to Atletico and a well-timed one as Vieri has left for AC Milan. We rotate and bring in an additional centre back. Its nerve wracking as Atletico lay siege to our goal but we find enough to win.

But that victory comes at a price as one of our best players is out for 6 weeks and will miss the first half of our Champions League campaign.

Our Champions League campaign gets off to an efficient start as we put 4 past the almost butter spread Tallinn. Meanwhile we out clear water between ourselves and the pack by beating Betis 2-0 and with 10 men for the last few minutes as Lantz goes off injured. Asper gets MoM snuffing out new Betis signing Florian Maurice.

We follow up with a really poor 2-2 draw away to Real Sociedad in which we struggle to get over the line. To bring things into context, this guy is deemed a star player.

On the plus side, we remain on good terms with the Champions League. It was a bit of a struggle and I worry we are about to hit a patch of bad form with Betis hot on our tails. Not swede.

Albacete are dispatched 3-0, but our happy mood is ruined by drawing Real Madrid in the Copa del Ray 3rd round. Meanwhile, there is no chance of the B-Boys repeating last season’s achievement.

The thrills just keep on coming as we scrape a poor 0-0 with 10th placed Tenerife. We remain top with a 2-point advantage on Real Betis. Back to the Champions League and we have to make our Ljungs work to battle to three points. We’re undefeated, but it feels like we’ve lost our meatballs and we’re due a tonking.

Returning to league action, 7th placed Valladolid come to town and it is a much better result, other than taking our foot off the gas in the second half.

Next up, El Classico in the Copa del Ray. It’s make-or-break time for the first occasion in one of our eight trophy fronts. Alfonso is on an unbelievable run of form putting away 4 in Real’s last league game away from home. I am terrified. My worries are justified as after making a positive start we get Alfonsoed in a brutal 15-minute period. Not unrealistic to turn it over if we can keep Alfonso quiet in the second leg.

We wrap up October in unspectacular fashion. We struggle our way to a 0-0 with 7th placed Valencia and I worry that we are running out of steam.

Thankfully our slump in attaining two 0-0 results recently hasn’t impact our position and we still come out top turnips. The margins much closer this time out.

It’s been a swede and sour affair, although we have a 2-goal deficit to overturn in the Copa del Ray, we are still in all our competitions and the B-Boys still sit top of Segunda Liga and are through to the next round of the Cup Winners Cup. Much to play for in the mid-season pile up and we now have £111m in the bank to add reinforcements when the window opens. See you next time!

Turnips On Tour: Part Three

Happy Tuesday to you all! Here’s KingOfTheRooks with more from the Swedes in Barcelona. It’s the end of the season and it’s time for trophies, but will any of them be heading to Sweden?

Hello again and welcome back to Turnips on Tour. Last time out we completed a major miracle making it through to the Champions League quarter finals as the best second placed side with a squad of 10 players. Unfortunately, we lost the Super Cup 6-5 on aggregate to Borussia Dortmund following a commendable 4-4 away result. We closed out January with a 1-point cushion to an in-form Real Madrid who have just signed Alfonso, thankfully, we don’t need to play them again. Against all the odds so far, our Swedes have not wilted in the Spanish sun; here’s the run in:

February see’s us face 3 top 10 sides in Valencia, Real Sociedad and Deportivo. A customary 2-0 over 19th placed Oviedo is completed, along with the same result vs. Valencia. Away to Sociedad I make a complete turnip of myself. I mean to switch out Arvidsson but mistakenly remove the in-form Ernstsson. In the end, it’s a happy accident.

Arvidsson completes his hattrick in the final moments with two more strikes from some of my other ssons sandwiched in between. I claim the manager of the month award for the 3rd time this season and we massage the result Swedish style as we destroy Deportivo; the 4-1 is flattery to them.

A result like that against a team in red is exactly what I’m hoping for next as we take on Man Utd in the Champions League.

The turnips step out at Old Trafford and into the roar of the lion’s den. Our first game in Europe with our key players. We make a bright start as Svensson bursts clear and slots it past the big Dane. Asper makes a triple save however we don’t clear, and Butt smashes the rebound home only 5 minutes later. The goth is put through and slots home with ease. Mid second half, Schmeichel takes Ernstsson out, a clear penalty and red card, the linesman is flagging, the referee says no! Unbelievable! Man Utd pepper the goal but Asper stands tall and that is some first leg advantage.

Preparation for the 2nd leg isn’t idea as we make unbelievably heavy work of very weak opposition. After the interval, our lead is down to 2 points as Real just keep winning.

Oh and add to that Karlsson is out for a month and all our key players are at risk of getting injured on international duty. That’s my second choice ‘keeper getting a call up ahead of Asper…odd.

We…are…through! Asper gets MoM for resolutely defending from the onslaught of Sheringham, Giggs and Scholes. That was tough. And we lose Prytz and Kilhberg for the next game through suspension.

Our reward is two legs against Bayern in the semi-finals. The other game is PSV and Dortmund. Could be a chance of revenge on the cards. A proud moment for the international break as a side largely of our own making brushes Italy aside.

What ensues is an international hangover of epic proportions as we start the game against 14th placed Zaragoza in diabolical fashion. Despite Pascal’s first goal, this is woeful. We are lucky Real lose the Madrid derby to keep us top.

Next up Bayern Munich. We have given ourselves half a chance. Not sure why we were wearing our away kit at home though.

We follow-up with a poor 2-0 defeat to Atletico. Real Madrid will be ahead of us now until the final day unless they slip up as our game in hand falls the second last round of games.

We scrape a 1-0 at Sporting Gjion in preparation of the game of our lives against Bayern Munich. In contrast to the home leg, this time out we wear our home strip and Bayern wear their away.

Kipling’s boy puts us in the final where would you know it, we play Borussia Dortmund. In the league it’s one for sson and sson’s for all.

We are simply too good for Bilbao as our iron Ljung sets us on route to victory.

The man of son puts us out of sight vs. a battling Celta side who pushed us all the way.

We make easy work of Valladolid but Guiseppe Signori blows us away which means it will come down to the final day against Tenerife. We must win.

Unbelievable stuff! The pressure was on with Deportivo and Betis winning the other European trophies. We switch to 4-4-2 to combat the attacking nature of Dortmund that we felt the full force of in the Super Cup and fashion a boring and unlikely 1-0 win at the San Siro. We’ll be without our top scorer for our must win league game at Tenerife however which is bad and puts an end to Niclas Svensson’s season. Patric Karlsson the hero on the night.

Tenerife offer us swede FA in terms of opposition as Bengt Andersson lets us smash 3 goals in and with that we wrap up a La Liga and Champions League double! The board are delighted.

And with that here is the final table:

And the player stats:

And here are some vital statistics:

Transfer Fees: £7.5m

Wages: £2.7m

Income: £36.0m

Balance: £82.9m

Oh, and this happened. First time a B Team has won a major competition, they’ll be in Europe next season!

Oh no. 55 games were just too much.

Our cost per goal overall has been £69k which you have to say is a fantastic return. Next season will be tough as the Barcelona B squad start to become available on free transfers. Hopefully they move abroad but I’m doubtful.

Next season we’ll be competing on 6 fronts for La Liga, Copa Del Ray, Spanish Super Cup, European Super Cup, Champions League and World Club Cup so we’ll need to wheel and deal in the market to hopefully get some of the players we want and shed some of the failures to the reserves. See you next season!

You can follow Andrew on Twitter @kingoftherooks

Turnips On Tour: Part Two

Andrew is back with more from Swedes take Barcelona: Stockholm Syndrome. The Turnips on Tour have made an encouraging start but with a demanding board, Champions League results could mean everything…

Hello and welcome back to Turnips on Tour! Last time out the Swedish invasion had taken control of Barcelona, we had created the most enviable B side in the history of B sides who are making waves in the Copa del Ray, we’d made it to the Champions League group stages on 10 players, and were sat on top of La Liga at this very early stage. Here’s a reminder of the table:

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Turnips On Tour: Part One

I’ve been looking forward to this one. By now, you should know by now Andrew (KOTR) has been researching Scandinavian CM9798 players. What about a club could only recruit Swedish players? What if that club was a European giant? What if you ate Ikea hotdogs whilst you read this? Let’s hear more from Andrew…

Hello and welcome to my latest adventure. There is always a great deal of interest in the hidden depths of the CM9798 database much of which is caused by the games own limitations on the number of players a 16-bit game can handle.

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