Turnips On Tour: Part Six

Welcome back to the latest episode of Turnips on Tour! Last time out we’d managed to bag trophies number two and three and remained on top of La Liga (yet to taste defeat) despite the relentless train that is Real Madrid chasing us down. We’ve got a Copa del Ray semi-final on the horizon and a quarter-final with Juventus to contend with. The Sonny and the B-Sharps are into the quarters of the Cup Winners Cup and can look forward to Lazio over two legs; they also remain top of the Segunda and if any of that comes off, I’m staking a claim for their trophies! Here’s a reminder of our position in La Liga.

We have 5 La Liga games coming up 4 of which are against top 10 opposition, a defining period in our chase for a second La Liga title. Rayo Vallecano and Deportivo are dispatched 4-1. We come up against a surprisingly lowly Atletico and our iron Ljung rescues us with two exquisite free kicks. Jens will be a miss having restored himself into the defensive midfield role.

Next up its 2nd vs 1st as we take a trip to Sevilla to face off with Real Betis…again! The result is an absolute classic. It’s end-to-end stuff, eye for an eye. We almost have it in the bag, but Betis lay siege to our goal with 10 shots in the last 10 minutes and we finally crack.

5th placed Real Sociedad push us all the way, but we edge them out 5-3. Whilst its great to keep the Swedelona win machine on the road, the number of goals we’ve been conceding of late is a real worry. Back to European action next as we take on Juventus in our 1st leg. If we get through, it will just get harder.

We make a perfect start with top scorer and last seasons final hero Karlsson getting off the mark. Montero powers in a header less than 10 minutes later to balance things up. The son of man gets us in-front, only for that miserable Conte to equalise. But mmm-bop it’s so swede and we take a 1 goal lead into the second leg. Jansson will miss the away game thanks to a stubbed toe.

Bottom placed Albacete cause us some problems, but we eventually put 5 past them and get away with the points. Another injury to a defender is a cause for concern with our hunt for maximum trophies.

We struggle past Tenerife and our entire first 11 gets called up to the Sweden squad.

The return leg in Turin arrives and it is a nervy affair. We get ourselves up 5-3 on aggregate until Juventus snatch one back and keep us pinned back for the remainder of the game. We see it out and make it to the semi-finals!

Our joy is short lived as we are drawn to play Real Madrid for the 5th and 6th times of the season. If we make it there, we can make it anywhere…hopefully Alfonso is injured again.

The B-Sharps make it past Lazio and are into the Cup Winners Cup semi-finals. They draw Celtic which leaves Real Betis vs. Aston Villa the other tie. An all-Spanish final?

A dreary draw with Valladolid follows. The new the B-Sharps will be without De La Pena for 10 months thanks to a broken pelvis; not good for the Cup Winners Cup chances. Our first of 3 games against Real Madrid in the next two weeks come up. We dominate and really should have more than a 3-0 lead. Madrid come back which will make the 2nd leg a nervy affair, but we’ll take it!

Next up it’s the first leg of our Copa del Ray semi-final and it is a sweeeeeede affair as we cruise to a comfortable 3-0 victory, geeet up sson!

The Champions League 2nd leg el classico arrives and my nerves are shredded. Karlsson settles them inside 60 seconds by extending our lead! Son of man gets us another one as Asper defies Alfonso so many times we gets subbed off. Seedorf makes it a tense finish but mmmbop its great!

We avoid a Man Utd final, but I’m not sure that’s so good as they’re in terrible form after falling out the FA Cup to Notts Forest.

Meanwhile the B-Sharps progress where they’ll play Real Betis in the Cup Winners Cup final.

Not quite boom, but BOOOOOOOOOM! As ever, the players struggle to pick themselves up for weaker opposition, we flow through the motions for a 0-0 and we’re into the Copa del Ray final. Ernstsson finally gets a Sweden call up!

Back to La Liga for a good while and the derby throws up a simple 2-0 victory, quickly followed up by a big lesson from the son of man for Sevilla. We just need to be careful we don’t burn out.

Our form is such that, despite Johansson being a complete turnip, we win over 90 minutes with just 10 men. Superb. A 12-point lead with 15 points left available, one more win should secure the La Liga title.

We are an absolute roasted turnip, on fire sson! Celta are brushed aside, and deja vu, Prytz completes the blitz. Real Madrid win so we need another win to secure the title.

We eke out a poor draw with Zaragoza, but Real also draw and that is it! Trophy number 4 in the bag!

We lose our invincible status in a poor poor 2-0 home defeat to Valencia. The performance was woeful and it worries me ahead of Milan. I quickly forget about it as the B-Sharps demolish Real Betis 5-0 to lift the Cup Winners Cup…

This must be a CM9798 first, surely. Next up is our Champions League final vs. Milan for which we are now off the boil and poorly prepared. Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss! Oh my Karlsson is the Champions League hero again! Trophy number 5 in the bag!

Next up Hercules before the Copa del Ray final vs. Real Betis. Kihlberg will miss out after getting a foot injury leaving him side-lined for 2 weeks. We sign off the La Liga campaign with an easy victory.

All that’s left is the Copa del Sunshine, a massive game for our turnips against Real Betis. If the B-Sharps can do it then hopefully so can we! The big day arrives, and we are at home for the final. It’s an insufferably tense game of few chances. The game goes to extra time but it all ends in turnip tears. We miss out on the perfect season and trophy number 6.

And with that the curtain closes on an unbelievable season but leaves us with a gap in our trophy cabinet to fill next season. We’ll also tussle in the European Super Cup in an all Barcelona affair. There is one player who has transformed this season, Patrick Karlsson.

And now for the vital statistics. Some of the average ratings have been tremendous.

Meanwhile, as well as Karlsson, Manson has had another terrific season. St Niclas Svensson has had an injury interrupted season preventing him from progressing. And we’re finally making progress with Ljung’s best position.

Kihlberg has also made more inroads in the centre of our formation.

I hope you have enjoyed the thrill of the ride, I’m not sure how we will measure the success of next season but securing the Copa del Ray is my no.1 target. We’ll have the shot at 6 trophies all over again. See you next time!

Turnips On Tour: Part Five

Time for Turnips on Your with Andrew – those Swedes are making quite the impact over in Spain…

Hello again and welcome back to Turnips on Tour where we continue to dream big and aim to make an all-star Swedish cast take its place at the top of European football. Last time out we started our second season by bolstering the squad, and whilst undefeated in the League Real Madrid are becoming a serious pain in the arse as they build a formidable squad around Alfonso. That said we are one trophy to the good with the Super Copa Espanola in the bag; one down five to go. Pep and the B-Boys are into the 3rd round of the Cup Winners Cup, they’re not Swedish, but we’re cheering them on all the way. Here’s a reminder of the table.

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Turnips On Tour: Part Four

Turnips on Tour returns for season two. Last time out we managed to overcome the fact we didn’t have a first 11 to string together and get out the Champions League groups, overcoming Manchester Utd to go on to claim the trophy. It took us down to the final day, but we also manage to scrape home in the League too. It didn’t all start so rosy as we lost the Super Copa Espanola to our deadly rivals Real Madrid and we were knocked out of the Copa Del Ray by mid-table Sporting Mustard.

We’ve still been unable to make all the signings we wanted but we’ve formed a capable squad. Our enemies have also bolstered their ranks with Atletico, Real and Betis home to three of the deadliest strikers the game has to offer. This season will either make or break us. But we are in the hunt for 6 trophies. Technically we could say 8 as Barcelona B will be competing in this season’s Cup Winners Cup and the Segunda Liga.

Three of the competitors we will face on our journey for six trophies have now been confirmed including an intra-Barcelona derby. It could be a shameful experience if we lose to our own reserves.

The season opener arrives as we face up to our reserves in the first leg of the Super Copa at the Miniestadia. They have a solid line-up with Anderson and Rivaldo both starting. We take an instant lead with a trademark blitz from Prytz and then cruise on to a comfortable 3-0 victory. What a relief.

The second leg just gets better. The reserves batter our goal but Asper snuffs out everything they throw at us and we stroll out 4-0 winners taking to Super Copa 7-0 on aggregate. 1 out of 6

We open our La Liga account with two unconvincing 2 goal victories against previous seasons mid to bottom sides Santander and Mallorca, not so Swede. Next up we’re off to 10 goal Deportivo at the Riazor a genuine test. An own goal adds some gloss, Karlsson stepping out of the shadow of Mansson and Svensson to be the first name on the team sheet.

Here’s to hoping we don’t have a clash with the internationals or U21’s.

Meanwhile our Champions League group has been favourable, but Benfica will be a potential turnip in the road we’ll do our best to avoid.

Rayo Vallecano are dispatched three goals to the good. We round up our first 5 La Liga games with a visit to Atletico and a well-timed one as Vieri has left for AC Milan. We rotate and bring in an additional centre back. Its nerve wracking as Atletico lay siege to our goal but we find enough to win.

But that victory comes at a price as one of our best players is out for 6 weeks and will miss the first half of our Champions League campaign.

Our Champions League campaign gets off to an efficient start as we put 4 past the almost butter spread Tallinn. Meanwhile we out clear water between ourselves and the pack by beating Betis 2-0 and with 10 men for the last few minutes as Lantz goes off injured. Asper gets MoM snuffing out new Betis signing Florian Maurice.

We follow up with a really poor 2-2 draw away to Real Sociedad in which we struggle to get over the line. To bring things into context, this guy is deemed a star player.

On the plus side, we remain on good terms with the Champions League. It was a bit of a struggle and I worry we are about to hit a patch of bad form with Betis hot on our tails. Not swede.

Albacete are dispatched 3-0, but our happy mood is ruined by drawing Real Madrid in the Copa del Ray 3rd round. Meanwhile, there is no chance of the B-Boys repeating last season’s achievement.

The thrills just keep on coming as we scrape a poor 0-0 with 10th placed Tenerife. We remain top with a 2-point advantage on Real Betis. Back to the Champions League and we have to make our Ljungs work to battle to three points. We’re undefeated, but it feels like we’ve lost our meatballs and we’re due a tonking.

Returning to league action, 7th placed Valladolid come to town and it is a much better result, other than taking our foot off the gas in the second half.

Next up, El Classico in the Copa del Ray. It’s make-or-break time for the first occasion in one of our eight trophy fronts. Alfonso is on an unbelievable run of form putting away 4 in Real’s last league game away from home. I am terrified. My worries are justified as after making a positive start we get Alfonsoed in a brutal 15-minute period. Not unrealistic to turn it over if we can keep Alfonso quiet in the second leg.

We wrap up October in unspectacular fashion. We struggle our way to a 0-0 with 7th placed Valencia and I worry that we are running out of steam.

Thankfully our slump in attaining two 0-0 results recently hasn’t impact our position and we still come out top turnips. The margins much closer this time out.

It’s been a swede and sour affair, although we have a 2-goal deficit to overturn in the Copa del Ray, we are still in all our competitions and the B-Boys still sit top of Segunda Liga and are through to the next round of the Cup Winners Cup. Much to play for in the mid-season pile up and we now have £111m in the bank to add reinforcements when the window opens. See you next time!

Turnips On Tour: Part Three

Happy Tuesday to you all! Here’s KingOfTheRooks with more from the Swedes in Barcelona. It’s the end of the season and it’s time for trophies, but will any of them be heading to Sweden?

Hello again and welcome back to Turnips on Tour. Last time out we completed a major miracle making it through to the Champions League quarter finals as the best second placed side with a squad of 10 players. Unfortunately, we lost the Super Cup 6-5 on aggregate to Borussia Dortmund following a commendable 4-4 away result. We closed out January with a 1-point cushion to an in-form Real Madrid who have just signed Alfonso, thankfully, we don’t need to play them again. Against all the odds so far, our Swedes have not wilted in the Spanish sun; here’s the run in:

February see’s us face 3 top 10 sides in Valencia, Real Sociedad and Deportivo. A customary 2-0 over 19th placed Oviedo is completed, along with the same result vs. Valencia. Away to Sociedad I make a complete turnip of myself. I mean to switch out Arvidsson but mistakenly remove the in-form Ernstsson. In the end, it’s a happy accident.

Arvidsson completes his hattrick in the final moments with two more strikes from some of my other ssons sandwiched in between. I claim the manager of the month award for the 3rd time this season and we massage the result Swedish style as we destroy Deportivo; the 4-1 is flattery to them.

A result like that against a team in red is exactly what I’m hoping for next as we take on Man Utd in the Champions League.

The turnips step out at Old Trafford and into the roar of the lion’s den. Our first game in Europe with our key players. We make a bright start as Svensson bursts clear and slots it past the big Dane. Asper makes a triple save however we don’t clear, and Butt smashes the rebound home only 5 minutes later. The goth is put through and slots home with ease. Mid second half, Schmeichel takes Ernstsson out, a clear penalty and red card, the linesman is flagging, the referee says no! Unbelievable! Man Utd pepper the goal but Asper stands tall and that is some first leg advantage.

Preparation for the 2nd leg isn’t idea as we make unbelievably heavy work of very weak opposition. After the interval, our lead is down to 2 points as Real just keep winning.

Oh and add to that Karlsson is out for a month and all our key players are at risk of getting injured on international duty. That’s my second choice ‘keeper getting a call up ahead of Asper…odd.

We…are…through! Asper gets MoM for resolutely defending from the onslaught of Sheringham, Giggs and Scholes. That was tough. And we lose Prytz and Kilhberg for the next game through suspension.

Our reward is two legs against Bayern in the semi-finals. The other game is PSV and Dortmund. Could be a chance of revenge on the cards. A proud moment for the international break as a side largely of our own making brushes Italy aside.

What ensues is an international hangover of epic proportions as we start the game against 14th placed Zaragoza in diabolical fashion. Despite Pascal’s first goal, this is woeful. We are lucky Real lose the Madrid derby to keep us top.

Next up Bayern Munich. We have given ourselves half a chance. Not sure why we were wearing our away kit at home though.

We follow-up with a poor 2-0 defeat to Atletico. Real Madrid will be ahead of us now until the final day unless they slip up as our game in hand falls the second last round of games.

We scrape a 1-0 at Sporting Gjion in preparation of the game of our lives against Bayern Munich. In contrast to the home leg, this time out we wear our home strip and Bayern wear their away.

Kipling’s boy puts us in the final where would you know it, we play Borussia Dortmund. In the league it’s one for sson and sson’s for all.

We are simply too good for Bilbao as our iron Ljung sets us on route to victory.

The man of son puts us out of sight vs. a battling Celta side who pushed us all the way.

We make easy work of Valladolid but Guiseppe Signori blows us away which means it will come down to the final day against Tenerife. We must win.

Unbelievable stuff! The pressure was on with Deportivo and Betis winning the other European trophies. We switch to 4-4-2 to combat the attacking nature of Dortmund that we felt the full force of in the Super Cup and fashion a boring and unlikely 1-0 win at the San Siro. We’ll be without our top scorer for our must win league game at Tenerife however which is bad and puts an end to Niclas Svensson’s season. Patric Karlsson the hero on the night.

Tenerife offer us swede FA in terms of opposition as Bengt Andersson lets us smash 3 goals in and with that we wrap up a La Liga and Champions League double! The board are delighted.

And with that here is the final table:

And the player stats:

And here are some vital statistics:

Transfer Fees: £7.5m

Wages: £2.7m

Income: £36.0m

Balance: £82.9m

Oh, and this happened. First time a B Team has won a major competition, they’ll be in Europe next season!

Oh no. 55 games were just too much.

Our cost per goal overall has been £69k which you have to say is a fantastic return. Next season will be tough as the Barcelona B squad start to become available on free transfers. Hopefully they move abroad but I’m doubtful.

Next season we’ll be competing on 6 fronts for La Liga, Copa Del Ray, Spanish Super Cup, European Super Cup, Champions League and World Club Cup so we’ll need to wheel and deal in the market to hopefully get some of the players we want and shed some of the failures to the reserves. See you next season!

You can follow Andrew on Twitter @kingoftherooks

Turnips On Tour: Part Two

Andrew is back with more from Swedes take Barcelona: Stockholm Syndrome. The Turnips on Tour have made an encouraging start but with a demanding board, Champions League results could mean everything…

Hello and welcome back to Turnips on Tour! Last time out the Swedish invasion had taken control of Barcelona, we had created the most enviable B side in the history of B sides who are making waves in the Copa del Ray, we’d made it to the Champions League group stages on 10 players, and were sat on top of La Liga at this very early stage. Here’s a reminder of the table:

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Turnips On Tour: Part One

I’ve been looking forward to this one. By now, you should know by now Andrew (KOTR) has been researching Scandinavian CM9798 players. What about a club could only recruit Swedish players? What if that club was a European giant? What if you ate Ikea hotdogs whilst you read this? Let’s hear more from Andrew…

Hello and welcome to my latest adventure. There is always a great deal of interest in the hidden depths of the CM9798 database much of which is caused by the games own limitations on the number of players a 16-bit game can handle.

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