The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 9

Parma Monday has been a thing for…well this is the 9th episode so you get the idea. Ross has won Serie A but can he add the Champions League trophy to the cabinet? What will season 3 have in store? Let’s find out, or catch up with episode 8 here

Hello, and welcome to part nine of this Parma adventure. And what an adventure it’s been. If you remember, last week we had just won the league for the first time in the clubs history, I did let the players go out and celebrate. Just nothing too big I said, we have a champions league final soon.

The following morning, I get a call from a swiss police station saying they have a T Helveg in their cells. The idiot got on the wrong train, sadly dressed as a Viking which didn’t go down well in Switzerland. No sense of humour those cheese eating clock makers.

Anyway, we have a final to get ready for. Luckily, it’s in Italy and I can keep a tight rein on the players. We seem confident in training even Thuram shares a joke, was a bit close to the edge and he made Hernan cry, might be a reason he keeps himself to himself.

We start the game so well. But Juventus want revenge for losing the league.

1

Even them going to ten men doesn’t deter them. Everything we threw at them didn’t work.

Our captain Thuram gave the players a rousing speech in the dressing room. Only problem was he was naked and no one knew where to look. Not on the small side is our captain.

So, a summer awaits us. No World Cup or Euros. And to be honest I didn’t really dip into the transfer market. Which is odd for me. But this squad is a solid one.

Training resumes in late July and with no new signings to chant about its business as usual. I say that but Kieron walks to every member of the squad and introduces himself at the first session. I shake my head in quiet disbelief.

For the Supercoppa, charity shield for you and me, I decide to rotate to team a bit. Richard Wright has looked sharp in training. And Buffon seems happy to sit this one out.

2

The fact it hit him in the face as he just looked at it makes this lose worse to take.

But still, I want the big one this season and even the league can suffer as long as we get at least second.

With the league not started yet, we have the draw for Champions League, and it throws up a tasty group.

3

And

4

Why so many teams from the same country are being drawn with each other?

The smile gets slightly wiped off my face.

5

Man Utd again? Seriously!! FFS. I immediately regret shouting this out at UEFA Headquarters.

I rush back to Italy, we have Coppa Italia stuff to deal. My mood is improved knowing my dancing Brazilian is back. I put Den straight back in.

6

Sambas all round.

The fixture gods seem to be taking the piss. Juventus away is our first one. I’m having to throw an inexperienced striker Bordin in as Hernan is away injured.

7

Masterstroke from me I say. And sweet revenge for the final. But I want European success.

We make it two wins from two with an easy stroll against Bari.

8

I need another striker of quality. And after 2 years of chasing this lad he is finally mine.

9

A snip at £2mill. Welcome Erik, please don’t talk to Kieron Dyer.

Obviously, he can’t play against United in Europe, well not till the QFs to be accurate.

We welcome United to the Ennio to start our quest for the ultimate trophy in European football.

10

Why they bought Chris Armstrong I’ll never know. More so when he came on for Giggs.

A good start for that competition. Now we turn back to League, and Fiorentina are dealt with easily by C & C (doubt that will catch on).

11

Super Erik comes off the bench to snatch a winner in our next league game.

12

Seriously fixture guy?

13

I’ve never gone that far in this cup and its looks like I’ll struggle again.

As I’m allergic to cats I can’t kick one. So, I tell the lads to attack Milan. This nearly backfires spectacularly after 10 mins.

14

Buffon lamping out a Milan Midfielder wasn’t the aggression I was looking for. But a superb game for the neutrals.

Let’s leave this update here. I need to calm Gigi down with a cold shower. Not like him to be all hot headed but he is young and will learn.

Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82

 

 

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The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 8

Part 8 already? Ross is back with the latest from Parma but is he having a Part A? It’s the end of season 2 and Parma are looking for the Serie A title and the Champions League to go with it. Can they do it?

Hey there, a more serious intro this week. My Parma side on the cusp of something great. We are going for both Serie A and Champions League. In all honesty I’d be happy with one but something tells why not go for both. Although later I work out it was Buffon whispering through the air vent.

Anyway, enough of that I have trophies to win.

We welcome Lazio to the Ennio, a tough team to break down.

1

Or maybe not. We are fast out of the blocks and 3 up within 15 mins. A few changes on 75 mins lets Lazio back in, but we stand up and are a step closure to the holy grail.

2

As you can see its tighter than ducks behind. Odd that with players like Ronaldo etc Inter haven’t out scored us. I’m not showing the lads this, as I’ve said in previous weeks the numbers will just confuse them all.

We host Rangers next up and training has gone a bit crazy. Like a bunch of kids in a school playground they are over excited. I tell them to cut training short and go have a sleep. Problem is, no one set an alarm and we were all still there at 7pm.

The semi-finals await us. I tell the lads to keep it tight and we will easily go through.

3

Odd game. Rangers barely came at us and Hernan just pocked on home.

Udinese are dealt easily; a 2-0 win and my pager comes up with the massage that Inter have lost. Two horse race? I’m not ruling them out.

4

The semi final draw for the CL throws us against the Mighty Barcelona. We have to go the Nou Camp or Camp Nou or whatever people call it, I swear it changes every week.

5

Wow what a match. Niclas stupidly went in two footed on Nadal, oddly Nadal was seething and decided to try and decapitate Crespo. Chiesa slams home the winner. What would I do without these two?

Someone must be laughing at Serie A HQ as the next game is Inter away. With them slipping a bit I’ll take anything bar a loss.

6

Two injuries on a already tight squad isn’t helping, but the draw I’ll take. Not seen who are playing next.

Who? Juve? At home? FFS. I need some strong minds out there.

7

EASY EASY EASY!!! Surely that will sew up the title. Leroy’s sending off really helped. Forgotten man Helveg helps himself to a goal. Dyer was rested, turns up in his PJs. Lad never learns.

8

Somehow still only 1 point in it. But as long as I can keep the squad healthy a I’m still confident. Next is the 4th big game in a row. 2nd Leg vs Barca.

A few more rotations. Dyer comes back in. I remind them not to panic, and the longer the game goes on with them scoring the more spaces will open up for us.

9

Oh yeah!!!! Final here we come. Never thought it would be as straight forward. But no parties yet. Much to the squad’s disappointment, a local McDonalds had offered a free burger for getting through, I’m not having that.

Next is another good performance, having to come from behind doesn’t do much for the worry.

10

4 to play and 2 points in it. I still can’t shake off the fact Inter may come back strong.

11

They do win the cup, maybe that’s their launch pad?

12

Ravenna prove tougher than previous games. But we have a happy knack of nicking games.

13

Mass celebrations in the stands when the fans get wind of Juve losing. A 6 point lead with 3 to go. Surely, we won’t throw this away now?

14

Damn it. 2 to play and the lead is down to 3 points.

Chievo at home is our next game. I’m starting to think maybe playing the top teams benefits us.

15

Or maybe not… at full time I’m being hugged and kissed, I know its back to winning ways but this is a bit ott. Chants of ‘CHAMPIONS’ start. I need to get back to the changing room to find out what’s going on.

I find the figure of Thuram smiling.

16

I could not be prouder. In only 2 seasons we have gone from a top 5 team to top of the lot. I dedicate this to the fans who have never won it.

We celebrate long into the night.

I leave you on tenter hooks. You will have to wait until next week for the Champions League final.

Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82

 

The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 7

Ross is doing rather well with Parma but is that a bump in the road I see? Catch up with Part 6 if you missed it.

Hello my fellow Parmesans. Cheesy intro I know but I feel like we are family now. We left off last time 3 clear of the chasing pack, well Inter and Juve. And we can’t rest on our laurels.

We win our next two games and the other two can only win one and lose one each to give us a tiny bit of breathing space.

1

We can’t let this chance to win the league slip and up next is a very winnable game at the Ennio vs Vicenza.

2

Like a flan in a cupboard we go flat, barely landing a glove on a very stubborn defence.

I want to inject some much-needed energy to the squad. The chairman is a big ballet fan so invites a local ballet school to help the players with mobilty.

3

This is what happens when you try to show off. What also didn’t help is Kieron Dyer trying to heal the leg with crystals. I blame late night TV.

Without our Brazilian wizard I call upon my dependable Swede to help us out.

Away to Milan is out first test without Den.

4

A real ding dong of a game. Sibby shows he will survive without his mate on the left.

Another away game, this time Bari. Don’t let the score line fool you. It was a lot closer than it looks.

5

But only one lose since the winter break gives us a good platform for the run in towards a title.

6

For some reason (Note from Dave: When the German league is loaded the German teams play their last group game in February) the above draw takes place well after the previous stage, but I’ll take it. We should be just about too strong for the blue side of Glasgow.

Yet another away game, not seen my family in ages, and for 89 mins Jesper is showing us why we shouldn’t worry about Denilsons broken leg.

7

Not sure what I’m more worried about, the last-minute goal or Sibierski’s injury. It shouldn’t be too bad, and I have cover just not up to that standard.

Finally we are at home, and we want to stay on this unbeaten run.

8

We send the 35 Sampdoria fans home empty handed. Nice to see Helveg score. Chiesa and Crespo are having great goal scoring seasons. Though if one of them got injured there isn’t much to come in. But we are getting a lot of away games out of the way. Speaking of away games…

9

Melli is the main man, on top of that the goals are being shared about. I can almost smell the trophy. This sets us up nicely for our trip to Scotland.

We touch down in Glasgow, oddly Dyer has been very professional all week during the build-up. Even wearing a club suit and tie, we don’t have one but its nice to see him put the effort in.

10

Seems as though it helped. He scores the equaliser after Rangers take the lead with a player I’ve tried to sign many times. Melli scores again and we can go into the home leg confident. Might suggest all the players wear suits and the made-up tie.

Can we do the double? I’m not sure. We are carrying a few injuries and I need to keep Kieron focussed on football.

I end this part early for reasons you will find out next time. You will want to read it.

Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82

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The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 6

Ross is back with more from Parma, the second season is underway but with trips to Juventus and Dortmund to come in this update, he’s got his work cutout to continue his success both domesticalyl and in Europe. You can catch up with Part 5 here.

Hello fans. How are we? Well we in Parma are doing fine. A strong start to season two and hope is in air.

Goals have been hard to come by recently, and our next home game against Lecce is no different.

1

Lack of goals aside, we are top. The defence of Thuram, Cannavaro and Curtis rotated when I see fit is working.

My only issue is the wingers of Sibby and Denny. Not many in the goals column. I send them both a video full of goals to get their confidence up. A week later Denilson gives me his back saying it was just what he needed. When I play the video back I find out he used it to tape some Brazilian soap.

But maybe some home comforts is what he needed. 6 mins in in Greece he scores and the floodgates open.

2

JC getting his first goal as well means our strong start to the campaign continues.

Now I don’t like to see a great player out for a long time, but I want titles and Juventus are a main competitor.

3

With their golden boy out for the remainder this could prove crucial.

Next up is away to Lazio and a contender for game of the season.

4

I know its October but Mancini was wearing a blue and white scarf during the game, odd from the lad.

5

Ah nuts. Juventus will know that its not as big a loss as Del Piero but still a consistent performer for me. Enter Niclas and a stint in one of the many many positions he can play.

Back to CL stuff and Kiev turn up to the Ennio, we come up against two Sevchenko’s yet I suspect the one who scores might be a robot clone.

6

Odd the rules state we have to wear our away kit at home when there is a clash.

7

Two draws in the first two games have meant we might not finish top. Dortmund looking strong as well.

Now, similar to Bologna, Udinese raise their game for our visits. But we run riot, only missing a few extra goals. These stats are from half time:

8

9

Sibby scores in the second half to highlight the fact we need to be hitting the net more often. More so as its Inter at the Ennio next.

And what happened next was craziest game I’ve ever witnessed.

10

Hernan should have had 4 in the game. I look on envy as Ronaldo scores either side of our equaliser. He will be mine one day. But our first loss of the season proves costly, and tightens things at the top.

11

We need to bounce back and quickly.

12

A few suspensions and little injuries mean Stanic and Melli start. Nervous last ten mins but all we need is a win in our last game and we top the group.

13

And we do.

Ravenna, no idea either, feel the force of a hungry Crespo. Fiore show too much fury and sees red.

14

With Hernan scoring plenty and Chiesa setting him up I feel like we have a settled 11 with players on the fringe to come when needed.

I feel confident when we play our usual bogey team at home.

15

Yes yes yes. Momentum is a big word in sport, to be fair anything over 4 letters is a big word for my players. But we send over 44,000 fans home happy. So happy we expanded the stadium.

The Stadio Delle Alpi is our next destination. Even without Del boy Juve should not be underestimated. I sense nerves in my lads, not helped by the fact Kieron Dyer has taken up playing the spoons.

Half way down the motorway I see two silver objects hurled out of window and Lilian Thuram saying ‘No More!!’

I give Blomqvist and Helveg starts, I need strong characters out there and some Scandinavian spirit should help.

16

What a win. We go into the Christmas break on a massive high, we even let Dyer bang out Live Forever on a couple of tea spoons.

We end this write up with the league table. As you can see those three points have shot us up to top.

17

18

Only 3 points separate 15th to Milan in 8th, but that’s not for me worry about. Ciao for now.

Ross will be playing as Denmark in the CM9798 World Cup. In the meantime, you can follow him on Twitter @Riddley82

The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 5

Hot off the heels of a relatively successful first season, Ross is back with the start of season 2 over at Parma towers. Can they mount not only a title challenge but also compete in the Champions League again?

Welcome my friends. We made it! A second season, and the board are happy, the fans are happy.

Season 2 with my Parma Fam starts with some oddly timed but welcomed awards.

1

Proud for the lad. He is my captain, when Cannavaro isn’t. More awards, well one I think, come our way.

2

I call Hernan to congratulate him. Sadly, he still can’t speak Italian and mine is rusty. So, after 5 mins of awkward silence we hang up. My future striker Ronaldo gets the scribblers award. Soon my friend, soon.

Can’t really afford him at the minute, so I ask the board for more Lira.

3

Drinks are on me lads! But before I can even grab my wallet, this happens:

4

Thanks. So that means I may need to raise some funds myself. Dino Baggio has been hinting at a move. Walking into my office wearing a Barcelona shirt gave me a clue, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Later that day I get a surprise call from the Barcelona president. Dino is in his office already.

5

Joining Mr Baggio is a man who will probably never be allowed back in Madrid again…

6

Wow! I hear Real Madrid fans may turn up to the Camp Nou with Barbie heads to throw at him.

Anyway I need players. Big strong players.

7

A steal at £7m and some steel in my midfield… see what I did there?

With a solid first season I now need a trophy, so I want either the Champions League or Serie A

Before the season starts we need to qualify for the Champions League. AEK Larnaca travel from Cyprus to our bigger stadium. I put my strongest team out as I’m not sure what faces us. Probably need not have worried.

8

Never scored 10 in a game. Also I didn’t make any subs till the 70th minute.

I probably can afford to rest a few in the second leg.

9

They do like a red card this lot. Anyway, it’s good to have some back up players with minutes and goals under their belts. Now onto the draw…

10

Looks easy but somehow, we will make it difficult for ourselves.

It’s now September and the reason I haven’t mentioned any league games is because we haven’t played any. And for some reason its Coppa Italia 2nd round time.

11

Only 19,000? Glad that was money well spent. Still it’s comfortable win and we progress onto the next round.

Finally, we welcome Milan to the Ennio Tardini, and to be fair over 45,000 turn up.

12

Solid start to the season. But if we want the title we should be beating our rivals at home.
Torino away, and they have a bigger stadium than us. I really need to sort my emotions on this subject

13

A good comeback. But worried being voted European player of the year has gone to Lilian’s head. The Sibby and Denny combo strike back hard.

14

And again, the wing duo do the business against another team who seem determined to kick us over the park and play with ten men.

A chance to start the group phase on a positive note stalls as we come up against a Lars Ricken inspired Dortmund.

15

The score won’t show how dominant the midfielder really was in the game. And for some reason I’m not playing Stanic. He hasn’t done a thing wrong either.

A story has leaked in the papers im signing a player who can play D/M/F R/L/C. But there is no sign of Luis Enrique, instead I’ve gone to Yorkshire for a swede.

16

At that price, even if he fails I should get a decent profit.

Not lost a game, qualified for the CL group stage, only one thing left to get.

17

I celebrate by letting the lads watch the Godfather on VHS. Wish I hadn’t as they all come in the next day talking like Marlon Brando.

We visit Sampdoria and it’s an epic.

18

They really came at us in the second half and 1-4 flattered us bit. But we are happy. So happy that I buy a back up keeper.

19

With all the extra funds coming in from the extra numbers in the stands, a move I’ve supported from start… I buy Englands number 2 to be my number 2.

So going well in the league and the cups it seems set up to be a good season, even if it took two paramedics to remove a snooker ball from Kieron Dyers throat after he tried to say ‘I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse.’ Never learns that lad.

Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82

 

The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 4

It’s the end of season 1 for Ross and his Parma team, with the European dream over it’s all about the Serie A title. Can they find a way to beat Juventus to the gold? Catch up with the previous episode here

Hello and welcome to part 4, yes part 4! Count them!! I know you won’t.

For a brief catch up I’ve decided to take control of Parma and lead them to glory domestically and European-ly?

Let’s remind ourselves of the situation league wise.

1

With the top two going into the Champions League it’s important we hold off Inter and the man I want to spearhead my strike force one day, Ronaldo.

First up is away to Udinese knowing full well any more slip ups will cost us.

2

Sibierski actually scored the pen only for the ref to order a re-take. I swear I saw an official with Inter Milan blazer handing him a brown envelope. Corruption in the Italian game just doesn’t make sense to me so I refuse to believe it.

Our task is made harder as we find out Inter have won. Juve also win and more or less wrap up the league, to be honest I just wanted to get back into the Champions League, the first season was a ‘get to know you’ one.

We welcome Fiorentina to our place.

3

Tense doesn’t describe this game. Crespo is the difference but Thuram is my hero. Blocking more attacks than a dodgy MP.

I tell the players we need to score more and ease the pressure off. My nerves were put through the wringer

4

That’s better, more or less had a cigar in my mouth after 77 minutes. But I feel sick as I have never smoked in my life. Both centre backs get on the scoresheet and Stanic finds his scoring boots. Can be hit and miss that lad. My only moan is that Chiesa has gone goal shy.

Kieron Dyer offers to talk to him and take him camping. I remind Kieron we almost lost 4 youth players the last time he did that.

Next is a massive one. HUGE!! Away to Inter. We lose and we can kiss CL football goodbye.

5

Enrico finds his touch. Good job to, we went 2-0 down. Gives us a chance going into the last day of the season. I try to speak to Ronaldo after the game about joining but he doesn’t speak English and runs away from me.

So, last day of the season. Inter play Lecce and we have Roma at home. Now if you have read previous write ups, I’m still to work out who our ‘Derby’ is against. Luckily my lads are not the smartest so I blag to them that this is the one the fans look for at the start of the season and we need to do our end of the bargain and hope for a Lecce sized miracle.

6

All wrapped up before half time. Denilson actually did a lap of honour after 45 mins, till a steward told him there was still another 45 mins. Not the sharpest is our Denny.

At full time I see the lads gathering around a radio to get the latest on the Inter game. Sadly, John Curtis has the racing on as he put about a billion lira on the race back in the UK. Thuram manages to get the result on after holding poor John up by one hand.

7

Cheers all around, bar Curtis who turned a dodgy shade of purple before Lillian let him go. The board even come down and congratulate me. I see a letter with ‘P45’ on it, but assume it was a prank.

Celebrations are cut short after I remind the players there is a World Cup for a lot them coming up.

Whilst the dust settles let’s look at the final table.

8

A decent top 6, and to finish above both Milan clubs is a great effort.

9

Shockingly Roma are relegated. Fiorentina go into a play off to see if they stay up or go down.

For some reason the awards are decided after the World Cup.

10

Lilian deserves that and I’m proud of Hernan Crespo.

For those of you interested, the World Cup final was one no one probably watched.

11

Chile versus Belgium, how? I don’t really know.

On that bombshell, I leave you for another week. John Curtis needs me to pick up his winnings as he can barely speak still. Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82

 

The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 3

Monday is Ross day, with his Parma side getting off to a great start in parts 1 and 2 but as we reach Spring, are things going to take a turn for the worse? Catch up with part 2 here

Welcome back my friends. For those new to this, you’re very welcome but please read the first two parts or nothing will make sense.

We finished part 2 entering the winter break second to the mighty Juventus, going strong in the Champions League and very concerned for Kieron Dyer’s affection for all things ‘I’m a Celebrity’ related.

The aforementioned Juventus are our first game back from our mini break, which I took the players on holiday to Norfolk. All was going well till Denilson was almost washed away with the sea trying to play football on the beach. ‘It’s Great Yarmouth not Rio’ I said to him.

We get back to Italy for our biggest game of the season. And for 57 mins it seems the east Anglian weather has done the lads good.

1

Sadly, this puts to 3rd, and with top 2 going for the champions league I need to do better against the bigger teams.

Napoli are the next team to the Ennio Tardini, and after confiscating a bag full of Yarmouth Fudge off the players they seem calmer.

2

Decent sized crowd and the two best players so far of the season score.

The quarter final draw for the Champions League is next. I get the squad around the tele to watch. And after 30 mins of UEFA faffing and Dino Baggio squaring up to Dyer after Kieron refused to take a corked rimmed hat off, wWe finally know our opponents.

3

Paris in the first game. And even though this is pre-oil money PSG they are still decent and will cause us a lot of issues.

Our tough fixture period takes us to Lazio and the Olympic stadium. We are on an unbeaten run since November but not enough wins and to many draws keep us at bay in 3rd. Now wondering if the Glamour of Norwich has gone to their heads

4

Even a favourable red card doesn’t inspire the team to a win. With steady form in the league im looking for the team to pick the pace up for Paris.

5

Our 5 fans who travelled to the game will be delighted. Dogged game and really dug deep in the second half. Crespo taking up the senior role up front with Chiesa out. Will this kick start our league form?

6

Oh yes. Adailton is handy squad player, but the three non-EU rule means it’s hard to get him in the match day squad. The un-sung hero that is Blomquist repays my faith for starting him. And with PSG coming back to our ground in mid-week it should mean we go into the game on form.

7

Damn away goals. Also, is this the longest surname in the game? By the time Worns scored the guy on the tannoy had just figured out how to pronounce it. Our Euro dream is over for the season. The board are not happy, but I promise we will be back next season.

I sense the anger in the players. And the want fix things. More so for the fans and more so for me. I think anyway, my Italian isn’t up to scratch.

Piacenza feel the wrath of our exit from Europe.

8

I’m still waiting for us to really tear a team apart. But I’m happy with four and a clean sheet.

A quick look at the top three show Juventus have slipped up a little in the last few games and these two wins have put us above Inter for now.

9

5 games to go and only 3 points in it. It couldn’t be tighter, well it could we could all be on the same points but you get my drift.

Please come back for the final part of the first season. Can we qualify for the Champs league? Will the board keep me on? And can we keep Dyer away from trying to set up something called ‘Celebrity Cyclone’

Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82