Welcome back to the CM9798 Academy. The middle update of any season is usually the most pivotal as it shapes what exactly we will be playing for in the final few months of the season. The Academy – made up entirely of free transfers signed under the age of 23 – endured a rough start to season 4, dropping into the First Division relegation zone before briefly recovering to reach midtable.
There’s a lot to get through in this update so I’ll crack on with our home game against Shrewsbury. 16 shots to 8 in our favour and it needs Buckley to snatch a point against a relegation threatened side. The struggle continues.
Sometimes though you have to take a step back to take two forward. I’ve decided to restore Stevey Morrison to the backline, last season’s captain, and it pays immediate dividends. West Brom are brushed aside.
He mught not be as good statistically as Fleming but it works.
Dr Death is in good form. Two more goals from him see off Vinny Jones’ Wimbledon.
Maybe try singing…
Shudder. Williams beats Wimbledon’s neighbours a week later and we’ve finally turned it around. Are they still neighbours if they share a house? More like flatmates. Anyway…
We head into our League Cup tie with Premier League Spurs full of confidence. Williams is the greatest living human and he puts us in the lead – twice – beofre Spurs eventually break our resolve with a second half onslaught. Leon McKenzie is a boxer now I think. Ole Solskjaer will always be a baby faced turd.
Angry? Just let Williams loose on Tranmere. Billing is back with a bang too and we’ve got a potent pair up top now. Just try and stop us like poor old Eggiman did.
Then we lose at the Dell. We always lose at the bloody Dell. Against 10 men as well. Nigel Quashie. Let’s move on.
Time for a departure. Cox out.
Those 4 games he played must have been really good. A load of average teams, mostly in the Lancashire area, come in for him. They love Cox round there.
To the relief of many, he’s gone now. Then we beat Swindon to celebrate.
Ah, now this is more of a problem. McCormack is Scotland captain and my starting right wing back. He is however on £40k a week and has a big club release clause. I’ll miss him.
Derby offer up a token bid but the Scotland captain was always going to sign for Celtic.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, both of my centre halves get sent off at Coventry. Paul McVeigh, who has been scoring goals against me for years (he was at Torquay) puts Coventry ahead but my 9 men recover to equalise and it’s a good point in the end.
A third departure? The fact he’s going to Scottish 3rd division Clyde speaks volumes.
It’s a bit strange. He was unbelievable for us and got 101 in 160 games for us but nobody ever batted an eyelid at him. He only made 7 appearances this season at an average of 5.85…mad really.
My new right back arrives. He can also play left back which I’m sure will have some use.
A home game with Port Vale is our chance to get revenge for them essentially costing us a playoff place last season. They lead after 6 minutes and Shaka Hislop saves everything. Cambiasso eventually rams in a leveller. Phew.
We’re such a weird team. Here we are having our arses handed to us by Wrexham for the second time this season.
Then we head to Huddersfield and thrash them. I have to say though, their squad was decimated by a flu virus for some reason. It is December I suppose.
Bury are the next to feel our force. By force I mean we turn it on when we can be bothered it seems. 3-0 doesn’t flatter us.
We’re afforded Boxing Day off for little to no reason and then welcome Chelsea to the Arena. We got toe to toe with Twiss and his friends and finally we get the break when Le Saux handballs a corner. Buckley is denied by Charbonnier. He’s too good for this league. Gazza gets man of the match. I…don’t know, right?
We now play Birmingham twice in 3 days, firstly in the league in the Boxing day game that was held over for reasons I’m still not sure of. Anyway, long story short they are awful and we run riot.
Playing them in the cup at home should be a piece of cake. Right? Wrong.
We were level for 5 minutes and it was beautiful. But we’re out now and I guess it means we can focus on getting out of this mad world.
Oh look, we’ve scored 5 again. I don’t understand what motivates these boys.
Williams is now on 26 for the season. There’s no interest in him just yet thankfully and he and Billing see us to win over much fancied Everton.
That brings an end to a quite incredible update where we’ve rocketed up to 4th. We’re top scorers by a mile but our defence is still poor, though you have to say it has improved immeasuraby this update with the return of Morrison.
He’s not even that good…
Williams has 27 in 33 and Billing has 20 in 24. Buckley has 20 assists. We’re in great form heading into the last 16 games of the season, or maybe more if we get into the playoffs. Join me next week to see how we get on!
A bit of a half arsed graduate update but totally necessary because Ryan Morrison has signed for Man Utd!
Loves a move does Ryan. Will he play for the Red Devils?
Bolton are 7th in the Prem, with Simpson and Brazier both involved. However they have Romario and Brian Deane, so what’s not to love. Colin Todd is a genius.
Gerard Lyttle is unhappy and wants to leave Leicester. He’s just been on loan at Scunthorpe so who can blame him? Betterton is a star player for Barnsley but they are bottom of the Premier League. James Stones has broken his leg and has only played 5 times for Blackburn this season, he’s 3 months from recovery yet.
Of those recently graduated, Will Davies has already secured a move to Dunfermline. McCormack has barely played for Celtic whilst Cox is doing well at Stockport. Pearson has 4 in 11 for Clyde. Lee Norfolk is still at St Johnstone but Fulham are interested and he has a clause.