Ross is back with his Parma save. Gialloblu means yellow and blue you know. Anyway, you can catch up with part 1 here if you missed it last week. In case you weren’t aware, Kieron Dyer participated in ‘I’m a Celebrity Get Me out of Here’ a few years ago – Ross certainly hasn’t forgotten…
Buon Giorno if you’re reading this in the morning and Buona sera if you’re reading this in the afternoon and beyond.
Thank you for coming back for part two of my Parma journey. My aim, if you forgot or just didn’t read part one, is to give the fans what they deserve. A Serie A title and a Champions League victory to sell on VHS.
We left part one with a win against the odds at home to Man United.
Our next game needs some explaining. Every time I come up against Bologna they seem to do me over. Bobby Baggio and Kennet Andersson normally rip me a new one.
Damn Swede. We could have played all day and still not scored. And we have a few sticky games coming up. More so when we rock up to the San Siro to face the mighty AC Milan.
We stroll into a 0-2 lead and get a little lax.
Probably my fault, at half time I fell asleep and left a note for Kieron Dyer to take the team talk. He just went on about wanting to spend time on a jungle based reality show one day and doing specially set tasks by people looking at him. Lad’s gone nuts.
After the Milan win I sense a new mood in the squad in training, though most of the lads are stepping away from Dyer, don’t blame them, He turned up in khaki shorts and a red t-shirt with name and a random phone number on the back.
Next is another big game, home to Lazio and I’m still wondering who our derby game is against. I lie to the lads and say this it. Luckily none of them own a map.
My defensive duo of Thuram and Cannavaro are like a brick wall. And also great to see Denny and Sibby score in the same game. After them match they both ask never to be called that again.
It’s Champions League week and I want the players to stay focussed on the task in hand. I’m taking the pressure off though by saying this is a long-term plan. ‘Bit like my plan to go on the jungle?‘ Keiron says while chewing on a kangaroo testicle.
A win and sitting on top of the group is a pleasant way to start November. Also, Melli scores on the telly… These sayings getting pasta joke now? I’ll stop I promise.
Back to the game and it’s World Cup draw time everyone!
Ooooh England vs Scotland in France, can’t see that being a problem. Cameroon will want revenge for what happened in Italia 90, Spain for Euro 96 and Scotland for everything.
Next up is a Bakayoko inspired Fiorentina.
More like Crisp-o. Hernan’s first hat-trick for means pizza all round for the squad. Sadly, Dyer ruins it by insisting having only bulls’ anus on his.
Next is the big big one. Away to Man United. I have Chiesa back after a few weeks out. I link him up with Crespo in the hope they can put the Red Devils to the sword.
Even Michael Caine would have been impressed with this Italian Job. The cloud on the massive silver lining is Crespo’s injury. Shouldn’t be too bad.
We enter the winter month of December with a spring in our step. I want to continue with the promise we have shown. With Juve top of the league and in the middle of a crazy unbeaten run, we want that second place like my one-time obsession with Sunny Delight.
Our game in hand is next, at home to Atalanta.
‘No time for gambling boss’, ‘No Kieron, that’s Atlanta’
Sweet. Sibierski on pens is a master stroke and Denilson, despite an average of 56 step-overs per game is now running the matches.
Two more wins without conceding means we go into the winter break in positive mood and in form.
Our next game is the small matter of Juventus. I tell the players that everything is coming together, though as I said it in English nobody paid attention and John Curtis was getting Dyer out of a water tank with eels in it.
Ciao for now.
You can follow Ross on Twitter @riddley82