One of the essential CM9798 wonderkids and a key signing to
set your back line up for a long time. John would make his Manchester Utd debut
in a 7-0 hammering of Barnsley in 1997 but never broke through at the club.
He went on to sign for Blackburn Rovers in 2000 and played
consistently during the promotion season to the Premier League. He can also
count himself a League Cup winners medal from his time at Blackburn. After
representing England B, he went on to a number of moves that just didn’t quite
work out, retiring in 2011 hanging up his boots after a final season in the
Last week, KingOfTheRooks decided that keeping Barnsley up wasn’t enough. He wants to go one step further and survive another season using only real life signings. Does further greatness await?
Ey-up and welcome back to deepest darkest Yorkshire where
yet again we’re taking on a challenge only an absolute lunatic would take on;
keeping Barnsley in the Premier League (again) but on the basis of the squad
from the 1998-99 season. In reality, Barnsley finished 13th in the
First Division, John Hendrie was sacked, and they never reached the dizzy
heights of the Premier League again.
You left us previously rooted to the foot of the table having only managed to sign Mike Sheron, with the only other transfer target available a washed-up Clayton Blackmore, and, given we already have 6 left backs, we won’t be pursuing that one! Here’s a reminder of our depleted resources:
We can’t play Redfearn, Liddell and Fjortoft up for sale
(the latter out for 15 months anyway) and Krizan and Hristov without work permits.
We’ve picked up 5 points from the last 15 and really should have been at least
4 points better off but for late collapses.
We start November at Oakwell which has largely been a place we’ve kept the goals out. It’s the Kebab Shop Carriers vs. the Crazy Gang. We boss the match, and just can’t find the net so out comes Sheron and in comes McClare with Liddell pushed up top…and we win!
My good mood was short-lived. The dreaded big club release clause relieves us of our most prized asset as Leeds United come calling for the man from Leek Town. Well Dave Watson, you’ve got the first team place you’ve been crying for.
We are nothing without Tony, and we all hate Leeds.
It never rains in South Yorkshire, it just constantly pelts down…
One more in, welcome…Deon Burton
Another loss to a relegation rival, and things are not looking rosy in the gardens of Yorkshire.
Tony’s replacement, Dog Shit Dave, concedes both of Norwich’s (Second Division Norwich) shots and we exit the League cup at the 4th round. The plus here is less chance of injuries for vital survival games. Next up and Shearer vs. Sheron was never really going to be a contest.
The return of our iconic religious figure at the back and the joker see’s us win the latest Yorkshire derby, although Sheff Wed gave us a late scare after we withdrew said two plays. We remain bottom but now only 2 points from climbing out of our pit!!!
We continue to score goals, but without the shining star of Tony Bullock it is hard to maintain a lead, that said, we really should have scored more than two.
Upton funked us right up, as we lose 1-0 to relegation
rivals West Ham, Abou with the only goal. We didn’t even register a shot. The
lads still carrying the hangover from the celebrations after drawing at
Leicester. I won’t dwell on bowing out the FA Cup 3rd round to
Hartlepool other than to say the real Barnsley made the Quarter Finals
That is a MASSIVE three points. Absolutely massive. Only 3 points separate ourselves and 15th placed Sheffield Wednesday. This dog will not go down without a fight! We follow it up with a decent defensive result as we walk away from Roker Park (4th placed Sunderland) with a respectable 0-0 draw.
This is brutal. Marksedt has transformed since moving into midfield and is our top scorer with 5 goals. He is also our chief corner taker which tends to be the catalyst for our chances. We close out January with a superb point against second place Chelsea, which we could have won (story of my season).
At this point in time my main concerns regards keeping our
fight alive are that Liddell has to be sold if we receive an offer; Adi Moses
has a big club release clause and is a wanted man, and, with the board refusing
to allow me to cheat and list him for loan until the window closes I am
completely on edge. Clayton Blackmore remains the only constant in available
With that, we have pulled ourselves back out of the relegation zone for the first time since the 26th of August.
At the top of the table meanwhile it is all change from what you would expect, that said Man Utd have improved on their bottom half finish last season:
Over in the Bundesliga it’s the tightest title race I’ve ever seen.
And in La Liga the dominance of the big two is being broken:
So the board know just how hard I’m fighting to keep the club afloat.
And with that, we’ll say you again soon duck, to find out
whether we can really pull off mission impossible II, or whether the
footballing gods have it in for us and our already diabolical and small squad
is further depleted by the circling vultures at the top of the table.
Hello and welcome back to the Retirement Home! Last time out our old boys struggled to get to grips with Division 2 and the arrival of Ian Rush did little to help. We look like relegation material already as we sit one point above the drop zone, albeit 15th.
Can we turn that frown upside down? I really hope so…
Crikey, part 11 already. We’ve had three seasons in France and after an initial slow start, FC Mulhouse Sud-Alsace are now playing European football. Or at least we will be if we can make it through the preliminary round against…Cwmbran Town. What a treat that will be.
A bigger worry is…who will be left in the squad by then?
There are many hidden gems in the CM9798 database and
“Alfred” is one of them, with a potential of -1. Natipong spent his youth
career in France eventually making his professional bow at Olympique
Noisy-le-Sec where he scored 3 goals in 21 appearances. In 1994 he signed for
Thai Farmers scoring 66 goals in 89 appearances.
He won 55 caps for his Country scoring 25 goals in two years
and winning the gold medal at both the 1995 and 1997 Sea Games. Wikipedia
suggests that he retired from football to take up golf! He was last noted as
managing the Royal Thai Navy FC but appears to have left after they were
relegated to the Thai League Two.
You may recall Andrew did the impossible and kept Barnsley in the Premier League. Not satisfied with one miracle, he’s setting about keeping them there using only the players Barnsley really signed. Catch up with how Andrew kept them in the Premier League here.
Hello and welcome back to another adventure in deepest darkest Yorkshire! Last time out you found us dreaming of and delivering on the impossible; turning the clock back to 1997, unpicking the mistakes of Danny Wilson, and ensuring Barnsley’s survival against the odds in their debut Premier League season with the original squad only.
As you’ll no doubt be aware, it all ended so tragically in real life. So, to follow-up with a rather more impossible feat again, we’ll be looking to repeat the feat, only allowing ourselves to sign players whom John Hendrie’s Barnsley signed for their First Division season of 1998-99.
This means, the list of possible signings are;
Fumaca, Bruce Dyer, Alan Moore, Deon Burton, Don Goodman, Craig Hignett, Mike Sheron, Robin van der Laan, Clayton Blackmore, Scott Jones, Pirri, Chris Barker, Jon Parkin, Brian O’Callaghan, Rory Fallon, Paul Bagshaw, Marc Heckingbottom, Paul Kennedy, or Richard Siddall (if they exist in the database anyway).
And to top that off, the players we must sell, or release (or just plain ignore) are;
Neil Redfearn, Andy Liddell, Jan Age Fjortoft, Jon Perry, Neil Thompson, Laurens Ten-Heuval, Govo Bosancic, Deane Bullock, Rory Prendergast, Dean Jones and Ashley Ward.
That…seems like it will inevitably end in pain. We can play Fjortoft and Andy Liddell until we sell them given they went mid-season in reality, but Redfearn mustn’t be played.
We’ll try our best to offload the players for sale in player exchanges to avoid offending the board/destroying our budget if we cannot shift them.
So far our preparatory mission is going great guns…
No thanks. Meanwhile Hristov has had his work permit declined. And we have shifted Ashley Ward.
Pre-season rings some massive alarm bells. If we manage to survive then this will be the biggest escape on record. However, I have a feeling we’ll be propping the table up/getting sacked. Okay, that confirms it, we’re done for…
F****** hell lads I said to keep it nice and sensible! Well we make our way to Filbert Street with absolutely ground zero expectations, and to my surprise we dominate proceedings, have three cleared off the line and come away with a respectable 0-0 draw against a Leicester side that finished 10th last season.
Our first game at Oakwell and we earn another shut-out where we’ve kept West Ham down to just one chance all game. I’m calling that another point in the bag!
We make our first signing of the season as Mike Sheron becomes available for a cool £1.1m, a proven goal scorer in the First Division (that will keep the punters happy…), can he help us survive in the Premier League?
Looking at the positive, we have our first goal! We follow it up by dropping points to 9th placed Sunderland. Sheron spurned a 89th minute open goal too.
We get off lightly at Stamford Bridge:
It seems that, for love nor money, we cannot buy a goal. Tottenham practically begged us to win and we stubbornly (how very Yorkshire of us) refused.
Onwards and downwards we march. Brad Friedel prevents us from getting a point. Kluivert, Sevchenko and co squeeze over the line.
Sandwiched in-between our absolute epic failures in the Premier League we manage a 1-0 win over Bury in the League Cup. Next up Derby County come-a-calling and it has all the trappings of the Sunderland game, 1-0 up, cruising, throw it away.
4th placed Aston Villa are the next side to add to our shame at the foot of the table as the only winless team in the division (it was 2-0). That said, the gap to safety isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
It’s a classic top vs. bottom, and we pull out all the stops, dominate the game, but our inability to score continues to plague us. Note again, the opposing ‘keeper getting man of the match. The positive…we’re now 19th (unlucky Coventry).
We advance thanks to a draw in the League Cup vs. Bury. John Hendrie gets scythed down and is out with a groin injury for three months, the last thing we needed after putting in a great shift at Man Utd. No doubt he’ll be out on the hoy too and come back in a fine shape…
Another action packed Yorkshire derby…at least we didn’t lose, but that’s more points pissed away. Mike Sheron still to set the Premier League alight. In other news, Art imitates life as Malcolm Crosby takes over from Denis Smith…
Oh my I’ve gone all dizzy…we double our goals tally in one game as Boro get terrorised by the Tykes! Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeron!!!
We follow up with a predictable 1-0 loss to mid-table Blackburn having spurned chance after chance, normal service has been resumed! A break from the stress as we visit Division 3 Macclesfield to secure a 3-0 victory and reach the League Cup 4th round. But the big end to October is a battle at the bottom as we take on 20th placed Coventry in a real 6 pointer.
It started so well, and we dominated the game, but it was all ruined in a very short spell.
And with that, October comes to a close. I would estimate our chances of survival as 1 in 100 at this point. That said we’ve improved and taken 5 points from the last 15 which is over half our total to date. We’re also only 4 points from safety despite our abysmal form.
Defensively we are actually very sound, and it’s no wonder big clubs are circling for the man from Leek Town (Tony Bullock) and Adi Moses who are phenomenal. Up top Sheron is certainly no Shearer, and as the shortlist goes, only Clayton Blackmore remains available when I could desperately do with Goodman, Burton or Dyer to mix things up in front of goal.
The board have a clear understanding that I’m trying to keep a team that finished 13th in the First Division in real life in the Premier League. So, please stay with us and we’ll see you next time to see if we can make it through winter within touching distance of our ridiculous goal!
Hello! Welcome back to the Retirement Home, where I’m attempting to manage a team of over 35’s up the football league. Things have started well, as we romped to the Third Division title securing over 100 points in the process. But with five calling it quits last week we need to replenish the golden oldies with new blood. Well, old blood…some blood. You get the idea. We need to find players capable of playing in Division 2 as well, as let’s face it, the current crop aren’t going to improve much. We have £2m to help us out.